I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
