marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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