the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
