did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think people are normalizing furries
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
