Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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