Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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