I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
