My nipple is on Facebook.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
