Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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