38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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