Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
