lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
