I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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