I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize