i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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