"it" just moved
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
