1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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