sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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