Already got asked if we're dating
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
