I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
