we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
