would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
