This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
