If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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