I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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