rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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