I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
