if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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