I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
