I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
