id be glad to
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
