She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
