He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
