we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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