I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
