Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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