what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
