i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
