i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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