I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
