i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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