ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
