If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
