Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
