i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
