The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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