I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize