Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
