I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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