He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
