your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
