After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
