If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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