Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
