her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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