i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize