just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize