I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
