new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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