Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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