I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
