I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
