you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
