Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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