i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize