You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
