If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
