So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
