There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
