My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
