I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
